I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
