New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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