he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
