i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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