Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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