I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
