I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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