just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm always down for nudity.
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