Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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