Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Terrible idea I love it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
