no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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