So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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