Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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