i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize