I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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