So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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