he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize