I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
