Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
