I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
