The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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