Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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