Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This baby is an asshole
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
What drink are we having for lunch?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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