When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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