We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
