Pappa wants mamma naked
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
