Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand Curling. That high.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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