Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
