Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
