So drunk its hurt
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize