I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
