At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
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