Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You can't special order awesome
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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