uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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