My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
