apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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