dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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