How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
