I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
