the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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