that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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