youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's shark week go big or go home
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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