the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
