I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
