i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
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You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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