Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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