Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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