We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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