Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can I color on your dick again?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
