I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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