she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
