The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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