Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
