i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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