Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize