do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
