i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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