Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
