so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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