His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
