yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
