I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
