So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
