Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
