you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
