We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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