erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.