Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"