Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
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almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
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Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.