ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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