Can Purell be used as lube?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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