Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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